3. Unbeweavable Judging
Oh lord, this judging panel made less sense than Raelia. The only bit of criticism that was remotely constructive was Miss J telling Raelia to speak slower so he could understand her. That was followed up with Tyra quoting My Fair Lady. Forget her enunciation, Raelia has enough trouble just trying to get the words right.
"The rain in Spain" wasn’t the only Audrey Hepburn reference. Mirjana’s goofy hat took me right back to Cycle 8 reject Natalie who wore a similar hat in honor of Hepburn. She was in that iconic film Dinner at Tiffany’s. Or Lunch at Tiffany’s. Or Brunch at Tiffany’s. Take your pick, none of them is right.
Although, for the record, “warritress” isn’t right either.
I know it’s not a real word because, at the moment, it has just six Google results (probably more once Google archives this post.) I’m just glad Miss J said it first so Tyra won’t add it to her official Top Model dictionary.
Anyway, I still don’t get why no one calls Mirjana out on her stupid hat, but perhaps Tyra knows better than to criticize anyone’s wardrobe while wearing this:
Dominatrix shoe straps for days! Plus, her tacky jersey is a subtle way of saying that she wants to fuck former football player Keith. Just kidding, there’s been nothing subtle about it all season.
Well all righty then! We know he’s hung like a horse anyway.
In addition to calling Keith a “one trick pony,” Kelly Cutrone calls him a “tough dude.”
Does this look like a tough dude?! I am not intimidated by this man, but I do pity him a bit.
Kelly says Ben looks “prehistorically horrible” in his shot, like a “drag bar owner in The Flintstones" - as if he would have chosen that styling for himself in a million years! Whatever, Kelly’s opinion is completely invalidated when she sees Adam’s photo and says it’s the first time she’s considered him a model.
If this is Adam looking more like a model than ever, then he might as well just give up. You have my permission to drink 15 beers tonight after that backhanded compliment, Adam.
Basically, the whole panel, the guys got insulted for having bad hair whipping shots. Well duh. This is like the nail art shoot all over again: the men just aren’t going to look as natural doing this kind of long-hair modeling. The videos look stupid because they were made to look stupid!
It’s just hard to take the scores seriously when they never even once acknowledge the gender difference or attempt to grade the guys on a curve. So when Tyra starts handing out photos to all the girls first and says, “Boys boys boys, what’s going on?” I just shake my (thankfully non-weaved) head. The guys didn’t become worse models overnight, they were given a near impossible assignment.
Not that I mind, for the record! Glue as many weaves to these guys as possible. Hair weaves, beard weaves, armpit weaves, nipple hair weaves… the more gratuitously fake hair you can attach to these waxed men’s bodies, the more I’ll laugh!
5 Funniest Moments of ANTM Cycle 21 Episode 6